I have been with my current boyfriend for nearly eight months now.  During this time, I have been completely emotionally faithful to him.  I can't exactly say the same for physically, but I have toned it down a great deal.  While we lived in the same area, I didn't fool around with anyone else.  Actually I take that back.  I only fooled around with one person.  It wasn't often, and my boyfriend never found me out.  I'm very glad he didn't, because I really want this relationship to work.  Why then do I feel the need to be with others, you ask?  I suppose I'm just greedy for pleasureable company, both in bed and out.  *shrug*  But once again, I digress.

I think I should clarify something:  When I say "fooling around", I mean nothing past oral sex.  My current boyfriend is the only person I've ever had intercourse with, and I'm doing my absolute best to keep it that way.

Back to the topic:  So now I find myself once again in a long-distance relationship, after having to move away temporarily.  We visit each other from time to time, and we make the most of our visits, in more ways than one.  In the time we've been apart, I have had two playmates.  I made it easy on myself this time:  I didn't lie about having a boyfriend.  They both knew I wasn't available, and that I had nothing more to offer than companionship and physical intimacy.  Nevertheless, it wasn't long before I dropped them both.  One of them was quite annoying, plus he was getting extremely attached.  (He still is, truthfully, to the point where I'm starting to get mad.)  The other was just a complete asshole.  Enough said. 

Since those two, I have not had any playmates.  I won't go so far as to say I will not have any more during my stay here, because I honestly don't know.  I will say that I'm not making an effort to look for replacements.  Whatever happens happens. 

Now, however, I have a different situation.  There is a guy at school that I knew purely on an acquaintance level at first.  Some time last week, he and I started up a conversation, and we really hit it off.  I could tell he really liked me, and truthfully I liked him as well.  The old me would have pretended to be single just so I could date him.  Though I am no saint, I am also not the old me.  So I was going to tell him that I had a boyfriend.  But let's be real here:  Unless the other person asks, it's not the easiest thing to work into a casual conversation.  So by yesterday, I still hadn't been able to tell him.  I finally just came out and said it.  He was disappointed, but also glad that I told him.  Thankfully he wanted to remain friends, and he even kept our "date" that we have next week.  (Meeting up for lunch)

I suppose it went well, overall.  Though I admit:  Part of me wishes I had lied.  There's no possible way I could have gotten away with it, and I know this.  But I can't help but want him for myself.  He's a really great guy.  Don't misunderstand:  I don't like him enough to leave my boyfriend for him.  But still.  It would have been nice to make him mine.  *shrug*  Oh well.  Can't have everything I want, I suppose.  I'm grateful to still have his companionship, in any case. 

I believe I've said enough on this topic for now.

~Rachel